Life Can Never Be Easy
by Nataliee.xo
Summary: Dean and Sam found a way to stop Castiel from opening purgatory, not expecting Raphael to succeed instead, He now has all the power he needs to become the new God, he encourages Crowley to seek Cas out and afterall shouldn't all bad angels be punished?
1. Chapter 1

Hey so first of all I want to say that I do not own any of the supernatural cast even though I would love to! Also this is my first fanfic so I apologise in advance if its terrible. ;)

I've Rated M for the violence, torture and possible destiel in later chapters, I do not know yet.

Life can never be easy.

Dean and Sam found a way to stop Castiel from opening purgatory, not expecting Raphael to find a way, He now has all the power he needs to become the new God, also betrayed by Cas, he encourages Crowley to seek him out and afterall shouldn't all bad angels be punished.

"Sanguinem sacrificii fac ostium pastor animam aperietur!" Chanted Castiel as he finished smearing the blood over the wall. He took a step backwards in precaution as he squinted at the blood smeared wall in front of him, waiting for something to happen.

"Perhaps I didn't use the correct formative language" he said out loud to himself.

"No you said it perfectly Cas" came a voice from behind

Castiel spinned around defensively and saw infront of him the two brothers who he had come to grown very fondly over during many events.

"What have you done" questioned Cas in that husky voice which seemed alot more serious than normal, if that was even possible.

"Look cas, its over" spoke Dean for the first time. "We changed the blood you had orginally planned to use and we swapped it for dogs blood. Well if you could call that rat wearing a wig a dog then.."

"Not the time Dean" interupted Sam.

"What hes trying to say is that purgatory isn't going to be opened today Cas, we couldn't just let you do this, look what death said about what bigger evil there is in there, bigger than anything we have ever seen before."

Cas looked up as he saw the sun escape the shadow of the moon and become its own figure again.

"There was no other way, you have no idea what you have created, Raphael will destroy earth, he will bring the apocalpse!" bellowed Cas

" We will find a way Cas! But purgatory was not the answer, It will not be opened" replied dean who was now standing right in front of Cas, shouting down at him, almost as if hes about to shake him to make him understand.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that if I was you"

The three of them all in unsion turned towards the smashed in door, which dean has purposely broken in earlier events. There appeared, standing with one hand against the door frame, almost smirking at the site of the mess in the room, appeared Crowley.

"what the hell are you talking about" demanded Dean.

Crowley began to walk over to the blood stained wall, he smoothed a finger over the red liquid and pressed it to his tongue.

"Yumm, poodle, my favourite" he said in a saracastic voice.

"Seriously Crowley, what are you doing here" repeated Sam this time.

"well like i said, I wouldn't be too quick to jump to the conclusion that you've saved the world again and that everythings hunky dory" He said as the corners of his mouth curled up into a twisted smile"

" I have to say Cas, I'm actually disappointed, I almost believed that sweet voice of yours matched the powerful, smart and sexy angel I thought you would be. I mean I offered you more than what was bargained for and yet you betrayed everything you promised, whilst me for instance did everything you asked. So being the king of the crossroads that I am, well and King of hell of course, I went to the next best offer. A lovely man who I believe you know by the name of Raphael."

Cas' eyes wided at the name of his current rival. He stepped towards Crowley and smashed him into the near by wall. He grapped him by the neck and pushed him up the wall so Crowley was no longer able to touch the floor. "What have you done!" demanded Cas.

Crowley began to laugh, he grapped Castiels arms which were situated on his neck and started to twist them. Castiel who was now shocked at the power Crowley had cowered down in pain, unable to prevent the sound of bone crunching in his arm.

"Listen up, so little Castiel may have not been able to unlock the door to purgatory, but my new buddy Raphael did. He digested the beautiful beams of light coming out of the doorway and I guess you could say hes a lot more umm whats the word powerful than before. I believe you like to use the term, lets see God?"

Dean and Sam who were now at Castiels side helping him off the ground, widened their eyes in shock and found themselves unable to speak or even move.

" and unlike you Cas, Raphael seems more profound to keep the deals he offers, the first thing he did was reward me for my guidance and you are now looking at the new King of hell and Heaven, well more like prince of heaven, rapheal is of course king up there now" His twisted smile repeared on his lips.

"so what your like his new bitch now" spoke dean who was now suddenley able to speak.

"I like to use the word, buisness partners, if I dare say" replied Crowley.

"Yes I bet thats what your calling it" dean replied under his breath.

" Oh I haven't said the best bit yet, you remember Castiel when you gave me a choice to umm lets see how you put it, oh yes Flee or die? right you remember that well I'm going to give you two options as well, since its only fair.

"Thats see, oh yes well you can join the inn crowd in heaven and kneel down to your beloved king, Raphael, if you had of course forgotten or well you could endour the worst pain and torture you have ever felt in your life. Hey his words kiddo not mine, I hear hes very prompt with the punishments against the unfaithful ones" continued Crowley with a wink.

The fear in Castiel's eyes could now be seen very visibly, Sam and Dean stared at him, expecting him to look up, but his eyes remained fixed on the same spot on the ground.

"Cas you don't have to listen to this, we can shut this son of a bitch up for good" spat Dean, the doubt clearly showing in his voice.

"Going to carry out that threat, sweety" replied crowly, who was now looking far past the stage of amusmant. "So what will it be castiel, bow down or die? Your choice."

Castiel thought for a moment, before taking a deep sign, he fixed his eyes off the ground and instead fixed them straight at Crowley, his voice sounded almost defeated as he began to say "I would rather endour any kind of pain thrown at me before I bow down to him, do what you want"

Crowley smiled back at Cas, Dean's face already down as it was sunk even further. "What the hell Cas, don't give up like this!"

" Well what do you expect of me dean?" interpted Cas, Shouting now.

"I've allowed this to happen, I allowed Raphael to learn how to open purgotary in the first place! This is the least I deserve, I've created hell on earth!" cried Cas

Dean fell silent with a desperate look across his face aimed at Cas.

"Well that was... touching" laughed Crowley.

"So anyway if thats your choice Cas I'm sure we shouldn't keep Raphael waiting"

Crowley walked over to the three men standing in front of him, "by the way you two really will not want to miss this" and with that the four of them were suddenley gone, disappeared into thin air with no trace of ever being here apart from the smashed door and blood stained wall. The room was suddenley silent again, which always seemed to show a sign of how worse things were still to come and with that darkness fell back over the tiny planet and the moon replaced the biggest, most brightest star in the sky, which in this situation almost seemed unlikely to shine again.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey so I've been meaning to update for a while now but revision for my exams have kind of got in the way, but heres chapter two for anyone who might be reading this. I'm not actually sure where this is going, I have a brief idea but we'll see! ;) Also I did originally rate this M but I don't think it will be heading that way now that i've thought about what im going to do, so I've changed it to T.

Castiel wasn't quite sure how much more of this he could take. His body was sizzling with pain, he felt pain in every inch of his body, places he didn't even realise his vessel could feel. Yet the worst pain of all was his humilation. He could take all the pain and the punishment any day but knowing the two people he had actually grown to care for was seeing his pain too was the worst feeling for him ever. He'd always seem strong and industructable to them, I mean for one he'd come back from the dead more than once, yet now here he was being tortured in the worst possible way. He was feeling mixtures of emotions, emotions he didn't know he could feel. There was betrayal, anguish and regret and most importantly he felt vunerable, weak even. He could never imagine the depth of pain he could feel, however the worst part of it was that he believed he deserved it. He chose to find the way to open purgatory, it was his decision to work with Crowley instead of confiding in Dean. Its just he hated asking Dean for help, especially after seeing him live his life after Sam went to hell. He didn't want to be the weak one, he deprives himself in his power over the humans, knowing he can help them gives his exsistence meaning. Then came the news that Raphael wanted to take leadership over heaven. The same Raphael who wanted the apocalypse to happen, after everything they fought for, hell it even meant Sam jumping into a cage with Lucifer and Michael. No he couldn't go to Dean for help, he was desperate so he took the advise of a demon, the advise that would change the course of the future, the same advise that had almost little chance of success, but he would find a way.

The room was dingy and black, the little light that exsisted was only just visible creeping from behind the barred up windows that were high above the ground, they were designed perfectly for such a event, there was no possible escape. The room was long yet the space available felt so confined. The walls were worn, shabby and discoloured, this was the exact place nobody wanted to be alone.

When Dean finally came around, he found that his hands were tied above his head, which was leaning against a wall. The cold touch to his bare skin, when he moved sent shivering vibrations through his body. When he realised that his whole body was tied down he started to panic, he looked to his side to see Sam staring back at him with a worried and sympathetic expression , he was in the exact same position, hands behind his head and his body tied down.

"Howdy Dean! you've finally woken up to join in with the fun"

Dean recognised the cold and heartless voice of the man speaking. He looked up to see Alistair staring down at him, with that same expression he remembers from the pit when Alistair offered him the deal to inflict the pain on others in return for his own soul to be spared.

Then suddenley he saw him, he would never had recognised him from all the blood and cuts that covered his face if it wasn't for that one trench coat. He saw how the angel, who he now though of as his brother was tied to the long pole, peering down from the far ceiling. The angel was too short to actually reach the length of the pole and with his hands tied to it so brutly, it actually lifted him off the ground a few inches. The angels body was covered in blood, Dean couldn't actually remember a time that he had seen as much blood as this. His arms, face and chest had been slashed so badly that if this was a human being, he would most certainly not stil be breathing. His face was badly bruised and swollen that is actually started to force the angels eyes shut. Dean felt sick, he actually felt the need to throw up there and then. He wasn't even sure if Cas was breathing or not, expect the pained expression of Cas taking a breath now and then, kind of gave it away. Castiel was shirtless, his normal tie and shirt had been ripped off and only his trench coat remained over the upper part of his body. There was all sorts of patterns and shapes carved into his body that Dean had actually felt relieved that he had only now just woken up. He had never seen Castiel like this before and it sickened him that an angel, a powerful creature of the lord had been turned into this.

"Well we could recap everything you've just missed, but I have many more tricks up my sleeve." Alistair spoke with a smirked tone. Dean had actually forgotten he was in the room and that reminded him, how the hell was he here? Sam didn't send him back to hell, he actually killed him. Then he remembered, of course, the place where all the disrupt and damaged souls go, Purgatory.

" Yes I bet your wondering why I was given a second chance" spoke Alistair who seemed to have read Dean's mind.

"Well my, or shall I say our new God gave me this second chance. He seemed to be quite a fan of my doings in hell and seemed to just need me on his team. He promised that if I do whatever he commanded, then I was free to leave. After all you know what Im Capable of Dean" continued Alistair with a wink.

Dean shivered with the memory and decided to change the topic. " So what Raphael is recruiting demons now, what the hell is he planning?"

Alistair smiled again. "All will be revealed in good time." He suddenley turned his at attention back to the task at hand. He moved his finger towards Castiels face and smoothed it over, the pouring blood that was lying there. He then brought it up to his mouth and licked it.

" Taste's like heaven" he said sarcastically

Sam who at this point had been relatively quiet turned towards dean with an expression that Dean had become quite used to, reading what the hell should we do. Yet Dean didn't know, he couldn't think, he didn't even have the power to move his eyes off the angel, standing infront of him. He felt the uneasiness grow in his stomach, his heart was breaking, he couldn't adjust to seeing Cas like this. Castiel was Dean's friend, brother and angel, nobody, just nobody had the right to hurt him like this, especially a demon.

Castiel's stomach turned inside out when he heared Alistair speak to Dean, this meant he was finally out of his unconscience state and was able to see Castiel in this position. It had been bad enough that Sam had awoken at the time the worst of the torture started. The fact that the man had been awake to hear the painful screams made Castiel even more embarrased. Yet he couldn't help it, the pain was excruciating. But now Dean too, he had always felt that bit more closer to the older Winchester, mainly because he felt a sense of obedience towards him, he trusted the man more than any other supernatural creature has trusted a human before and he felt almost responsible for him, so the fact that Cas did lie to him made this a whole lot worse.

He decided to close his eyes, he couldn't look at Dean when this was happening, the most easiest way to get through it was to be oblivious to his being there. Castiel knew the worst of it wasn't over, this was just beginning and the cursed look on Alistair and even Crowleys face meant there was something a hell lot worse to come, something Castiel would never had imagined.

Also if theres a small possibilty that you might actually have read this please review, good or bad, I'd love to see how I could improve with it, thankyou.


	3. Chapter 3

**So I want to thank everyone who's followed the story so far and thankyou for all your lovely reviews. I'm really hoping you will enjoy this next chapter, turns out planning the story out is easier than writing it all down so im sorry if this chapter doesn't give my idea any justice. ;) But anyway I hope to update very soon and thanks again.**

Time never really bothered Castiel that much, why would it? He was an angel, they existed before time ever came to pass. He had always thought he had forever to exist. Yet now here he was realising for the first time, nobody can really have forever. Look at his brothers and sisters, they were all meant to live forever, yet they didn't, He had even killed many himself. He only now began to see that his time would soon be up. How long would it be before the real darkness overtook him. The same darkness that would soon consume everything now that Raphael was in charge. He'd never thought about how little time he had left until now and all the mistakes hes made only now just surfaced. He was sorry that he didn't have enough time to fix the wrongs he'd made. To be able to correct the mistakes that have happened. Theres no doubt he would do things differently now, he can see that. For fact he knows he would definitely stand side by side his new brothers, the Winchesters and help again to save this planet he had actually grown to care for. He never really felt like he'd belonged up in heaven, he had always had his doubts. Down here it was different, he saw what living was really about. Love, hate, belief he would take it all because this world really was worth the pain, it was worth all the efforts they had made, the sacrifices. Most importantly it was worth fighting for.

Castiel had no idea how long he'd been tied up against that post in this dark, gruelling place. All he'd actually been aware of was the fact they kept taking the Winchesters away for what they would call "human needs". After all they weren't the ones being punished here. It suprised Castiel how he dreading the time when the Winchesters would be lead away. Yes he hated them seeing him like this, but the worst torment was his loneliness. He hated being left alone in the dark and knowing his brothers were near by almost comforted him. He saw the darkness as a weapon towards him. He would never walk into it by his own choice, so it surrounded him instead.

The First few weeks were bearable, his angelic powers allowed him to heal slowly but effectively, although this did mean the torture would start all over again from scratch. Now however it was different, the first day Raphael had actually come back to see him, that same sense of overwhelming power inside him, you wouldn't actually believe they used to fight along side each other as equals. He hated Castiel for rebelling against him. He was meant to be the king of heaven and this meant everyone should bow down to him, however there was the exception of Castiel. He continually picked not to kneel down in front of Raphael and this angered him greatly. Who did this stubborn angel think he was, he was no better than Raphael, how could he be when Raphael was now God. No he couldn't have this angel making an example towards others, so he would make the example. The example of punishment and what will happen if anyone dares to cross Raphael. Heaven was his now, he kept all the angels in line and they all got to see the torment Castiel had been through, this allowed them to keep their heads down and do as they were told.

Raphael came back with something that not even Crowley was expecting. A weapon that they all believed was to be extinct. The grace of Heaven itself. After Balthazar had raided the treasures of Heaven, he'd been very clumsy to not even realise it was there. Yet of course he would have, only true powers can see heaven's grace, a true power like God. However this wasn't any part of heavens grace. This was the grace that had first witnessed the banishing of Lucifer from Heaven. This was the piece of Grace that had been used along with many parts of Heavens Grace to create the existenceof Hell itself. This was the damaged grace, a dangerous and deadly weapon. Used against any angel would damage their own grace. So this was it, the final bargain to Castiel, he would have to bow down to Raphael now, I mean he wouldn't actually die for this corrupt planet, would he?

It had been exactly two weeks since Castiel had refused Raphael's last and final offer. He still remembers the guilt on Dean's face when he refused. He still remembers the first time he felt the fire around his grace, the way his insides were burning. He replayed it over in his head now. The way Raphael had just glided in and shoved the glass bottle containing heaven's grace in his face. Of course he didn't actually believe it could really be heaven's grace at first, yet the way he couldn't take his eyes off it and the beautiful complexion against the glass made him understand it was the beauty of Heaven itself. Yet darkness overcame the bottle and the longer he stared the harder it became to escape it.

Dean and Sam were both in the room now, they had come back from whatever Crowley had taken them to do. Crowley also suprised Castiel, it seemed he didn't always agree with what Raphael was doing. Well that was understandable, after all Crowley was so used to making the decisions himself and now he was being bossed about by an Angel of the Lord, well except now he was The Lord. Yet it almost seemed to be a small chance that they could perhaps convince Crowley to help them. After all he was looking for the better deal, so if they could come up with a bigger offer than what Raphael had, he would surely accept it.

" Well this is it Castiel, My final offer. If you accept me as your king and bow down to me, I will let you and your friends go. You can live your life in heaven under my command as if nothings ever changed."

" And If I don't" replied Castiel in a graspy voice, you didn't have to see his pain because you could hear it.

This is when Raphael had first showed Cas the bottle of Heaven's Grace. He explained how his new sense of power allowed him to find it.

"None of us actually know what this could do to an angel, do you really want to be the one to find out Castiel?"

Castiel couldn't even think straight, through the pain he felt now and the pain he might later endure, why should it matter. He couldn't let Dean and Sam down again, he already had and saying yes to Raphael would be the worst possible thing he could do. He would be under his command and this meant helping to bring on the apocalypse. He couldn't do that, not after everything they had been through. The only reason he wanted to open Purgatory in the first place was to stop Raphael and if he agreed this would have all been in vain. No he couldn't accept Raphael's offer.

" Are you really willing to die for this sad, pathetic little planet? Theres nothing but greed and pain here, why sacrifrice yourself for it?" Raphael continued, he was starting to get really inpatient now, He couldn't understand what Cas saw here and he certainly couldn't understand how Castiel was still treating him less than the God he now was.

Castiel looked up at Dean and Sam, they were staring at him, as if they were talking with their eyes, he saw desperation and despair. There was nothing they could do, not against God himself and they looked like they were almost ready to give up all hope.

Dean hating the way Raphael put Castiel on the spot like that and he hated himself for not wanting Cas to accept Raphael's offer. He hated the way he would rather see Castiel end now as their friend rather than later where he would be working against them as their enemy. He would stick by Cas whatever Raphael did to him, but he couldn't stand being betrayed by him even if that wasn't by any fault of his own. He'd already lost so much and trying to stop Castiel opening Purgatory was hard enough. He'd already been questioning whether it really was the right thing to do.

Castiel was looking right into Dean's eyes now, as if he could read his thoughts. He was already sure of what he was going to do but he had to be sure. He looked deeper trying to find something, anything. And there it was that glint in his green eyes, the one he'd become so use to, the one he'd started to admire Dean for. It was a tiny glint of hope. It was at that moment he knew. He knew wherever this heaven's grace would take him, his brothers wouldn't give up on him and ofcourse he would rather die trying to protect this planet rather than dying in battle trying to destroy it.

That was the exact moment Raphael injected the heavens grace into Castiel neck. That was the same moment Cas could feel his own grace burning, sizzling away. Its been two weeks to the day and his mind and grace have been gradually breaking away. He can no longer feel his vessle, his arms, even fingers. Hes left with just his mind, tied up against the post. After all the heaven's grace was designed as a torture weapon, there would be no quick way to reveal what will happen to Castiel next. Two weeks its taken, again time plays on his mind. He remembers the two weeks he spent at Bobby's with Sam and Dean. Well he didn't stay there repeatly for two weeks but he came down everyday. He would never admit it but he enjoyed the familiarity of it, the company. He'd sometimes pictured what it would be like to have an actual family who cared for him and here its like he did. He felt like he belonged with them and that made him feel emotions he had never felt before. It was a memory he would cherish, yet at the same time it felt as if he was losing it. More memories began to take over, like when he lied to Dean, straight to his face, the pain when he found out, the betrayal on Dean's face. He hated knowing he had caused it and he only hoped there was going to be a time when he could make up for it, he would show Dean exactly how sorry he truly was and this was one way to begin to do it, he had sacrificed himself. The physical pain he was feeling was nothing, his mind on the other hand was showing him things he no longer wanted to see. The faces of the people he had killed, betrayed. Dean, Sam, Bobby, Balthazar, Anna and even Gabriel who even he knows would never had made the same mistakes he had made.

But now his time really was up, but he wasn't afraid because there was still a part of him who believed he would be saved. Whether he deserved to be saved or not, there was still a part of him that believed he would correct the wrongs he had made.

He could hear Sam and Dean outside of the room, they sounded as if they were about to return. He felt a moment of peace, hearing their voices. They meant more to him than anyone ever had. At that moment he knew his brothers would never give up on him, because thats what family is for, and with that he welcomed the darkness, his mind and grace finally gave in. Darkness over crept him and with that he was gone.

There was suddenly a bright light and Dean felt his stomach ache. He almost didn't want to re enter the room, he didn't want to see what he would find. Sam looked at Dean in shock before quickly running back into the room, Dean followed behind with Crowley of course. They saw Castiel's vessle, his head was hung down and the bright light had already evaporated by then. There was blood running out of Cas's mouth and down his ears.

Sam and Dean looked on in shock and anguish.

"What's happened to him" Sam eventually asked, not sure if he really wanted to known.

" Im afraid Castiel's gone" Replied Crowley, who looked actually rather sorry himself, "Its finally happened" he continued.

" What the Hell are you talking about" Dean yelled back. " Gone where!"

"They've taken him, hes gone" said Crowley.

"Castiel's gone to Purgatory."

**Reviews are treasure to me ;) I really enjoyed reading the ones I have so far so please let me know what you think, criticism is always welcomed. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I've been meaning to update this for a while now but so much revision has just got in the way, I know sucks right. I also want to thank all the lovely people who have reviewed this story so far, it means the world and It really does put a smile on my face so thankyou! **

It had been almost three weeks since Dean had last seen Castiel awake, well barely but he did feel small amounts of comfort in hearing his deep signs that escalated from him. Now however you could hardly remember that this being used to blink, breathe or even move at all. It had been three weeks since the unlikely happened, good and bad, and Dean and Sam found themselves from the clutches of Raphael thanks to a certain arch angel and demon. Yes it amazed him to repeat that in his head, he remembers how empty and defeated he felt as soon as he saw that his best friend was no longer present. His vessel was still there of course, whether it was still described as a vessel, Dean didn't know, he remembers Cas mentioning how he sent Jimmy to heaven before all of this started. You could say the body was now officially his but to this day it was empty. Well so Dean and Sam first believed it to be.

"Purgatory.." Dean repeated after Crowley, mainly meant as a whisper as he tried to progress what the hell had just happened. He was in complete shock, he knew something bad was happening to Cas but he never would have believed it to be this bad. Whatever happens, he always believed Cas would never actually go, go anywhere, but Purgatory? This was unbelievable.

He walked over to Castiel's body, treading his footsteps very slowly as if his body was moving on its own, whilst his mind told him other wise. Castiel's eyes were shut tight and there was blood escaping his mouth, nose and ears. Dean put his hand over Castiels mouth and layed his ear against his chest. He wasn't really sure why he was doing this, there was little hope that he would find a pulse and Dean knew this but he felt he couldn't just immediately give up on Cas. It amazed Dean how peaceful Cas's features now looked. He had gotten so used to seeing the permantly pained expression on Castiel's face, that he couldn't even picture his famous confused frown anymore. The frown Dean had gotten so used to and actually started to love about Cas. He loved how different and childlike he was, it give him almost a sense of innocence thinking how little he actually understood about life on Earth. Yet this little understandment also turned out to be the death of Cas. Of course a part of Dean questions whether he should have had more faith in Cas, he showed to the brothers how much stronger and better he could be than the other angels, so maybe they should have trusted him to make the right decisions, hell he would pick Cas being God over Raphael anyday, but at this moment his friend seemed to have been lost forever.

Dean wished he could tell Castiel how much he actually meant to him. They had both said some bad things over the past couple of months. Things Dean now regretted and he wanted to show Castiel how he didn't mean them, he loved Castiel as a brother and it angered him how Cas didn't listen to Dean.

"You son of a bitch" Dean whispered softly whilst trying to hold back tears that were forming in his eyes. "You should have..." Dean couldn't say it, he couldn't control himself and he just let himself go, he buried his head into Castiel's chest whilst he gripped his shoulder tightly and he felt the tears fall down his face. He could still smell that familar sense of pureness from Castiel. He'd never admit how he came to recognise his scent but whenever he heard the fluttering of wings approach, he would always get a snuff of the fresh breeze that followed with it, the smell of heaven he assumed. It was a good smell, a sense of hope, happiness and even power. It was the sense of Castiel.

Sam could only remember a couple of times he had seen his brother looking so vulnerable. It was out of place and Sam hated how much weaker it made Dean look. He was always so used to Dean being the stronger one, he was the one that always showed faith in situations even when there was little reason to see it, this always made Sam feel better because Dean was his big brother and he made things better. But now Dean looked anything but that strong more powerful brother that Sam had once knew. The thing he hated most about this situation was that Crowley could also see the weakness in his brother and this allowed all strength Sam once had to fall down completely too.

However Crowley shocked Sam, he didn't have the smug face he normally carries but a more almost sympathetic face. He wasn't looking at Dean, he was looking into thin air, almost as if this was effecting him in ways Sam wouldn't even be able to begin to think how. But he looked so .. human? As if emotions previously hidden were beginning to surface. He looked as if this was upsetting him, or making him feel uncomfortable maybe, but this sure wasn't the stuck up demon they had come to know.

Dean had only let go of Cas after he heard the door of the chamber slam open, but he didn't turn around to see who it was because he had a very clear guess of who it would be. Sam turned around to see the appearance of Raphael, he was looking at Castiel with a smirked expression, an expression that could only be described as someone who had just accomplished something. He showed Castiel what was for and the example was now set, he had nobody to get in his way of being the new God.

"Well this truly is a tragedy, I never would have wanted this to end in such a horrific way" Raphael spoke in a patronizing way.

Dean could feel his blood boiling, it took all the little strength he had left to not go over there and punch Raphael in the face, even though he knew it was pointless and would just cause even more trouble for him and Sam. He couldn't do that to Sam, he wasn't completely sure how his brother was coping now that his wall had be broken, hell they never had the chance to explore it, everything just happened so fast and now Dean knew he just needed to focus on getting him and Sam away from there, if that was even possible. Dean stepped backwards and made his way to Sam's side again, he needed to protect his little brother even though it meant leaving Cas open to Raphael.

Raphael gradually began to make his way over to Castiel but he stopped as soon as he reached Sam and Dean.

"Now what am I expose to do with you two?" he questioned to himself.

Dean could feel Sam moving awkwardly next to him and he wanted to just reach out to his brother to tell him things will be okay, hell he wasn't losing two brothers today!

"Well my first mission of the new God was to eliminate all possible threats to my new position, I guess thats one down and that just leaves you too."

"If there was any other, but theres not. I know you too. I know you'll do anything you possible could to destroy me and I don't blame you. I mean come on I killed your little angel friend right, whats stopping me from killing you two. I cannot have disbelievers in my world. I'm the new God and I saw more chance in Castiel bowing down to me then you, so I guess that leaves me with one choice, don't you agree?"

Dean raised his head from the ground and looked Raphael in the eyes, he saw so much power now, that he felt intimidated by him, but he didn't show the weakness, he had shown so much already tonight, he wasn't going to show anymore.

"Listen to me you sick son of a bitch, you will not lay a finger on my brother, you hear me! You can do whatever you want to me, see if I care but you will let Sam go!" Dean finally found words to say and the sudden power in his voice suprised Sam, that was the brother he knew.

Sam looked at Dean, with a typical Sam expression that read Hell no! But Dean didn't take his eyes off of Raphael.

The corners of Raphaels mouth began to move upwards, he let out a pityful laugh and it reminded Dean of when Castiel was being tortued and the sick chuckle the demons were making showing how much they were enjoying it.

Raphael straightened up again and his expression turned serious and sour. " Who do you think you are speaking to! I do not take orders from useless little human beings! I am God and nobody tells me what to do."

Raphael was suddenley looking bigger and bigger with every word he spoke, he seemed to be looking down at the brothers and this made Dean feel smaller then hes ever felt before. Suddenley Raphael's vessle was surrounded by a pure white bright light and his hands seemed to be sparking as if he was full of waves of electricity. This wasn't a God this was a creation that never else could compare to, the white light seemed to get brighter and bigger and there they were, hidden behind the vessel of Raphael, inside it, the millions and millions of souls he had absorbed. They were each zooming past each other inside the vessel and it reminded Dean of shooting stars, the stars that you really did believe held some sort of power and even the least faithful human would be quick to make a wish. Dean felt this hope and even though it seemed useless, he wished this wasn't going to be the way it all ended, and with that he finally looked at Sam and smiled. He nodded at Sam and mouthed "its all going to be okay Sammy" and for the first time in a while Sam smiled back, his brother always had the effect of making things better. With that Dean was ready for the end, he was ready to be absorb into the light and he put his arm around Sam's neck and closed his eyes.

What happened next, Dean even after three weeks still couldn't quite understand it. He remembers it exactly to this day, the moment everything seemed to turn out okay, the moment his wishes were answered for.

" Wow, well this is impressive" Came a voice from behind, a voice Dean and Sam recognized so well.

Suddenley the bright light was gone and Raphael turned his attention to the intruder behind him.

" Hey Bro" replied Gabriel seeing that he had his brothers full attention.

" Well I know we all admired Daddy a lot, but this is just too far don't you think?" continued Gabriel was a smirk, he always seemed to be laughing at his own sense of sarcasm.

"Gabriel?" Raphael said with a shocked expression, " But... It can't be... your dead." This was the first time Raphael seemed to lose some of the power he once had. He looked shocked, weakened almost.

" Raphy! Well yes I guess you could say I was dead, but well dad's really persuasive on giving these second chances to the ones who help these unfortunate beings." He looked over at Sam and Dean at this. Dean who was still overcoming his shock pulled a pouty expression, showing how he found the statement rather offensive.

Raphael began to walk over to Gabriel.

"Uhh, not so fast bro." said Gabriel and with that he pulled out a charm on a chain and dropped it into a pot of fire that was suddenley there to the Winchesters amazement.

And with that Raphael suddenley disappeared into a bright light and the room began to shake heavily.

Dean and Sam looked amazed but they were quickly interrupted by Gabriel, " Look I have no time to explain but we need to get out of here, we haven't got long before Raphael comes back and man will he be pissed!"

Sam looked at Gabriel questionly. Gabriel saw this and signed " I promise I will explain everything once we are somewhere else but you must listen to me."

Sam nodded and saw that Dean was no longer by his side, he was over at the now burnt out pot of fire. He saw Dean pick up the charm and thats when he realized it was the same charm Sam had given to Dean for a Christmas present when they were younger. The same charm Castiel had asked to borrow to aid him in his search for God. Thats when it all made sense, of course this charm would have some sort of power over Raphael, now that he was the new God.

Dean picked the charm up, the one he regretted letting go of in the first place and placed it into his pocket, he turned back around and realized Crowley was no longer there, well it made sense for him to flee after Raphael went. He turned to Gabriel and Sam who were untying the bonds holding Castiel up. Once he was untied his body weight took over and Dean stepped forward to catch him in his arms. It was the first time Cas had been let down since they were brought here.

"Come on help me get him out of here." said Gabriel with a rushed tone, making it clear that they needed to be quick.

Sam seeing this tone understood the rush they were now in and even though it pained him to say it, even think it he had to ask. " If we are in such a rush to get out of here, I mean shouldn't we just leave Castiel here for now?" he hated himself for suggesting it, but didn't it make sense, Cas was dead?

Dean shot a glare at Sam, how could he even say that, but then he realised where his brother was coming from and turned to Gabriel.

Gabriel who was still holding onto Castiel with Dean, looked at both brothers from one to the other. A confused expression came onto his face and then it was replaced by a softer one.

" Castiel isn't gone guys... there's a way to bring him back but like I said I will explain everything later, lets just get out of here first."

Dean almost dropped Castiel after hearing this and realising this his grip on him became tighter. He looked at Gabriel " What the hell do you mean hes not gone?" Dean asked.

" Look I mean, most of Cas's grace was burnt away and vanished to Purgatory but like for example when a human is in a coma, their spirit is released to walk places between this world and the next. A fraction of Castiel's grace remains inside him, have you ever wondered why his eyes are ridiculously blue? The mind of his grace is stored in there and I promise you we will get my brother back! Now lets go!"

Dean for the first time in a while felt his heart lighten, he felt hope restore in there and he assumed this wasn't the best time to correct Gabriel and say we will get "our" brother back.

The Car ride to Bobby's had been such a comfort for the Winchesters, after being locked in that warehouse for so long, for too long and now with Sam in the drivers seat driving Dean's baby to his delight and Dean in the backseat with Castiel's head buried into his chest, they felt slightly more at ease. Gabriel was off preparing more charms and spells to insure Raphael couldn't find them. Its a difficult thing to do especially since God can see everything, but having a trickster on your side is always beneficial.

So this was exactly how Dean still remembers it, remembers how his one wish was answered for by a very unlikely arch angel, he felt even though he laughed at himself for thinking it, well that maybe Castiel was still answering his prayers even if he wasn't there in physical form. Yes Dean knew it was ridiculous, It was clearly just luck right?

But three weeks since they escaped and returned to the comforts of Bobbys. Three weeks of drinking, sleeping and eating and having the company of their now favourite arch angel, who they felt they could definatly grow to like.

Three weeks of Dean not leaving Castiel's side, he was in the bedroom Dean normally slept in at Bobby's occupying Dean's bed. Bobby had been quick to move another spare bed into the room so Dean could sleep too. Dean couldn't find it in him to leave Castiel alone, something bothered him when Cas was alone, he felt Cas hated being lonely and he found it comforting to watch the angel now and then. He'd helped clean Cas up as soon as they got back. He'd washed the trench coat, where most of the blood was now out and he'd just loved how peaceful Castiel looked, as if he was in a deep sleep, dreaming. And then Dean wondered about what Gabriel had said, about how some of the grace in Cas's eyes still remained there. How this was the grace of his mind and Dean truly believed that one day they would get Castiel back, his comrade, his friend, his brother. He wondered every day what was going on with Cas and now and then he would peel back the eyelid covering the big blue orbs and he would look closely in there and strangely he sometimes felt that sense that somebody else was looking back at him..

**I really hope this chapter allows some of you to still be interested in this! I had this feeling that I hadn't really included Sam and Dean a lot in the other chapters, so I felt this was kind of necessary and I love Gabriel! So I had to bring him back. So I hope you guys enjoyed it, like I said, reviews really mean the world to me! ;D So please leave one, thanks again.**


	5. Chapter 5

There becomes a time in every living creatures existence where they will face the path leading them to their next destination on their so called journey of life.

Heaven was the first and therefore oldest destination where many, as they were called innocent souls would face the path to lead onto. It was the largest and most complex place in all of existence out of every planet, galaxy and solar system. Of course this would mainly be due to the fact that there wasn't just one heaven, it was far more idealistic and pure than having just a place where all the good souls would go and be in harmony forever.

There were billions and billions of different heavens, each one created for a specific soul. Each built from the imagination triggered by happiness, joy and safety in a person's mind. There was a time when Heaven was built for the purpose of containing every single soul, acting as a reward for the fulfillment of life. But as the existence of life grew, so did the existence of evil, anger and sins. Of course this was natural mystery of life and the way the Holy Father worked but soon Heaven became too pure to hold some of the evilness that was now surfacing into existence.

Then came Hell. A place fitted to those who didn't belong or deserve the offerings of Heaven. An afterlife destination designed for punishment and suffering, where all the corrupt and once committed sins went to fulfill the certain punishments that they had earned. It had first come in existence when the first ever sin was committed. The soul of this creature burned through the pureness of Heavens grace when lead on one of Heaven's paths. It caused an uproar and was believed to cause the divinity of Heaven to burn. The pure and goodness was said to have been soaked in the flood of evil and deceit, so God created Hell a lower place compared to the higher authority of Heaven, where these sinned souls belonged. Hell was believed to be the process of the termination of the soul. Pain, torture and hatred came over the once living souls forcing them to become corrupt and wicked, hence the demon was born. A once pure soul created from the stars of heaven, chose the path of evil and the pureness was soon removed replaced by the sense of immoral and impureness took over the soul, turning them into a completely different specie altogether.

However there would soon be another destination brought into existence. A place designed to be the second judgement of souls. There were souls that were thought to not have been forgived and freed of all their sins that they were not ready for heaven, yet they were also not so sinful that there were destined for Hell either. Purgatory was invented for the purpose of showing the true destined journey for a soul. It included many levels, ones that were closer to Hell and others that would be right up near to Heaven. It was purposed of the purification of souls, freeing them of all their sins and evil to accept and suit them a place into Heaven's Grace.

It was a place full of cleansing and purifying, this included horrific torture, trying to wash the soul of the sins they had commited. The more a soul accepted their punishment and believed they were here because they deserved it, the higher the levels they would climb, until they reach the last level which soon judged that they were ready for a spot in Heaven. Of course not everybody was destined for a place in heaven. Purgatory also saw the depth of sin in a soul that judgement day failed to perceive. It showed how some souls really were destined for Hell even with all the purification that could take place. Some souls even proofed to not be strong enough for Heaven's Grace. They continually refused to accept their responsibility and the torture turned out to get the better of them, they turned more and more corrupt as the years went by and they seemed to had recieved the same characteristics that the demons had adapted. Therefore they were taken down deeper and deeper through Purgatory's level until they indeed reach the surfaces of Hell, where they received further judgement and therefore granted further destinations.

Out of all of that of course was the soul of Purgatory, formed from a part of Heavens Grace but also the true fire of Hell. It sees a battle between the two every second forcing Purgatory to be a place of good and evil, a destination in between the concepts of Heaven and Hell. Here at the true heart of Purgatory is where the real evil lies, such evil that has been trapped within the fire itself, too evil and powerful to be allowed to reach the confines of Hell.

This is where the monsters and evil lie that nobody could ever imagine to exist. God created Heaven and Hell. Day and Night. Angel and Man. Of course he would have created the first monster to ever come into existence and much worst. This is where also holds the key to opening the doors of Purgatory, trapped in the heat of its soul itself. Not that anybody would ever want to, evil surrounds this part of Purgatory that nobody would ever want to meet, let alone allow to escape. So everybody thought to believe...

**To be continued...**

**Sorry that this is only a short chapter, I just thought I had to explain my interpretation of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. This now allows you to understand where I will be going with this story. I really hope it makes sense... ;D**


	6. Chapter 6

The blaze of the light over crept his weak, fragile body. His breaths came in deep pained pants as he adjusted to the new burning sensation within him. He felt the heat and purity of his grace leak out of him, his mind was spinning, his body aching.

He had never quite felt intensity like this before, he was used to his grace abandoning the vessel he was accustomed to, but not like this.

He felt something completely new tugging on it, pulling him to where ever they were. His screams echoed the dingy cell, he wasn't even aware that he was making any noise because they were shut out by the intensity of the light.

His complete vessel felt as if it was being ripped to sheds as the remainder of his grace soaked through until finally the release of darkness over took him.

Castiel was well aware of his new found conscious state, at first he believed himself to be hidden deep within his mind, that his more human form finally took over him and he blackened out. He was then suddenly grateful for the huge release of pain but guilty all the same as he still believed he deserved it.

Everything was black, he was in complete darkness and felt at sudden peace. He believed he was just in a state of oblivion, unaware that his grace was actually some place else than the vessel he believed it to be. He felt he could finally regain the strength in the part of his grace where the essence of heaven had burnt through.

Once he was healed enough inside he would return this part of his grace to his body and fix everything he had caused. He would save the Winchesters and return them to a place much better than the prison they were being held at now. Then he would finally do whatever it took to defeat Raphael.

It all seemed as if it would turn out okay, that he was given this chance to put everything back the way it should be. He would return the lost souls that Raphael had now digested and the world would once more be saved. The same world that he decided he might stay in a little longer before returning to what was left of heaven. He knew there was so many broken pieces up there that had to be fixed, but all that mattered to him right now was making it right with his new family, The Winchesters and Bobby.

Castiel was completely unaware to the changes in his surroundings that was taken place. He was too focused in his thoughts, he felt no reason to be on guard because he thought he was just unconscious, his mind in a completely different place to his body.

The darkness surrounding this part of his grace to him seemed safer to what the part of his grace left in his vessel was.

He was completely lost in his thought, until he thought he saw the darkness in front of him move. He seemed to had shuffled and blurred all of a sudden. He began to thought maybe he was returning to his vessel, returning to a conscious state. He was worried because he hadn't had the time to completely heal the burns around his grace, nothing would be possible if he wasn't strong enough to do it.

Then he suddenly saw little flashes of lights moving around the darkness surrounding him. They were getting closer and more of them kept appearing, covering the whole of the blackness around him.

It was only until he truly focused that he was able to identify clearly what they were.

He saw the hundreds of eyes with their intense stare glaring upon him. That's when it occurred to him, he was no longer in the prison, he wasn't unconscious, he wasn't even on Earth anymore. He was somewhere a long way away from where he needed to be and he sure wasn't welcome here.

Dean Winchester peeled the lids of his eyes back and blinked frantically as he adjusted to the new found light. He looked through the gap in the curtains of his room to see the bright light seeping through, it looked to be a beautiful sunny day.

He stretched his legs to the end of the bed and pulled his hands behind his head, admiring the amazing sleep he had. He had forgotten what it actually felt like to feel comfort like this, sleeping on a freezing dirty floor for so long made him forget the actual beauty of sleep.

Then it caught his eye, he wasn't the only person in the room. There was another bed opposite to where he had been sleeping just across the room. In it he saw the vessel of Castiel, his eyes shut tight as if he was sleeping.

Dean almost wanted to smile at how peaceful the angel looked but then he realized it wasn't as simple as that. Hell he didn't even know is Castiel was still in there. He remembered Gabriel explaining how the biggest part of Castiel's grace had been stolen from the vessel, taken some place horrific, somewhere Dean didn't even believe to exist until a couple of months ago, his grace had been evaporated to the dungeons of Purgatory.

Then Dean recalled how Gabriel reasured him how all hope wasn't lost. As the most important part of Castiel's grace still remained. The part that made Castiel who he was, made him see the sights he saw, you could almost say it was the soul of his Grace, hidden deep within the ocean blue eyes of Castiel. His deep blue grace eyes as Gabriel had referred to them as.

Dean had always believed they were the eyes of Jimmy, that Castiel has just adopted them when he took over the vessel. Yet now he understands how no human could hold the sparkling beauty that they were. They were ridiculously blue and beautiful, the true beauty of an Angel of Heaven.

Dean pulled himself out of the bed and made his way over to Castiel. He sat on the side of the bed that Cas wasn't occupying and leaned over him. He traced his hand over Cas's face, he didn't even know why he was doing it, his hand was just moving, shivering almost at the touch of him. Dean had never seen Castiel in this way and it scared him thinking about how all he wanted to do was feel his skin touching his. He let his finger wander down the side of Cas's face until it reached his bottom lip. It looked unbelievably soft and it made Dean wonder what it would feel like to kiss, to feel the purity of Castiel's lips against his.

He didn't even realize he was stroking Castiel's lip until he finally came back into his senses. He quickly moved his hand away from Cas's face and wondered what the hell had come over him. He had no idea why he had done that and he sat in shock for a minute, until he began to do what seemed to comfort him the most, he peeled back the lid covering the angels eyes and it amazed him how he was still suprised by the intensity of beauty within it. He did what he seemed to always be doing now and just stared into the blue ovals, losing his complete sense of thought into them.

Sam Winchester awoke with a big smile spread across his lips. He wondered what the hell happened last night as he evaluated the nights sleep he had just had. He hadn't slept all night in weeks, ever since the form of Lucifer had over took his mind.

He closed his eyes again reliving the weird conversation he had, had with Gabriel last night, trying to make sense of what was said since he was now in a better state of mind with his senses on full alert since he had time to rest them during his beautiful sleep.

**(start of flashback)**

_Gabriel had explained how Castiel was now in a sort of coma, but a completely different one all the same. His body and part of his mind was in the depths of Purgatory, whilst the small remainder of Cas's grace remained within the eyes. To Castiel of course he was completely lost, most of his mind experiencing what ever within the walls of Purgatory. _

_Gabriel had explained how through Cas's perspective he was trapped forever in the soul of Purgatory, the place in which was on a more serious lockdown than the rest of Purgatory. The part of Purgatory that held deadlier things that just the worst demented souls. There lies monsters no hunter would have ever encountered, locked up there for a reason. But of course when Raphael opened Purgatory the seal of the soul would have been cracked so some of the monsters there could have seeped through. They now lay inside the vessel of Raphael, hiding within the grace, gaining all sorts of strength to prepare to make an appearance, something Raphael was totally unaware of._

_" So why have you suddenly decided to turn all big brother and help Cas. You never gave a toss about him before." Dean had said, saying what they all thought of course but Sam sure wouldn't have asked him like that. He remembers the most what the Trickster is capable of._

_"Thats where your wrong Dean, I love my brother, I love all my brothers but Castiel is different. We shared the same part of heaven's grace that made us come into existence. Therefore he was one of the angels in my Galleon, being an arch angel I was in charge of it. I gave the orders and directed them on their right choosen paths that our father had instructed and I loved them all. However I saw something in Castiel, something that none of the other angels had. It seemed he was able to choose his own path. He was stronger than them even though he was the youngest. Of course being the youngest came with its baggage. They picked on him a lot and I felt the need to protect him. He was different because I felt more like a brother to him than anyone else."_

_" He looked up to me and I cared for him the way a brother should. But then heaven changed, Lucifer was banished and Hell was created. We all changed, including me and I no longer wanted to be part of Heaven, I couldn't stand seeing the bonds of our family breaking. So I left, I faked my own death and found a nice spot on Earth where I remained."_

_" But I've always thought about Cas, the pain he must have felt. I know he loved me too and I abandoned him, yet we are very similar me and him. You see he chose to leave Heaven behind too and he came to you."_

_Sam was suprised of how much Gabriel reminded him of someone. In that moment he no longer saw the terrifying, powerful arch angel, but a protective big brother who would have done anything to save his family._

_It was only until Dean had gone upstairs to be with Castiel that Sam had the chance to speak with Gabriel alone._

_" All that you said earlier about loving Castiel, you mean it don't you, you really do want to help him."_

_Gabriel let out a big sign. " I know there isn't much reason for you to trust me Sam, I know it was almost too late before I stood up to Lucifer, but yes Its true, I want to help Castiel._

_Sam nodded and lay back in the chair he was sitting in. Gabriel was watching him very carefully, questioning him. He was very different to Dean Winchester, he seemed to see the good in people not just all the bad._

_"How are you doing anyway Sam?" Gabriel asked._

_Sam was almost confused at the question, then he realized he was specifically asking about his mind being used as a toy by Lucifer._

_It was Sam's turn to sign this time. " If I'm being honest with you, I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling. Lucifer seems to enjoy playing on the weakest of my emotions and only then does he make an appearance. I'm not entirely sure how longer I'm going to cope with it. Since Cas took down the wall I've just felt this urge of dread held over me, its difficult to explain, I just..."_

_Sam was cut off before he felt the need to explain something even he couldn't quite understand how to say. Gabriel nodded at him understanding what he meant without the words needed to explain it. Gabriel could see how tired Sam looked and for some strange reason it almost pained him to see it._

_Gabriel walked over to Sam who was desperately trying to fight back the need for sleep, he knew he wouldn't get it anyhow. _

_Sam looked up to see Gabriel standing over him with a sympathetic expression._

_" I like you Sam, your.. how I can say it.. different to a lot of humans." said Gabriel._

_And suddenly Gabriel reached his hand and touch the forehead of Sam. _

_Sam didn't have time to react to his touch because Gabriel was soon walking out of the room again._

_Sam didn't quite know what to think of it, all he knew was that he felt, well, different. And with that he made his way up to his room, with the feeling that sleep was now suddenly possible._

_**(end of flashback.)**_

Sam sat up in bed and rubbed the top of his head, pleased that the broken wall in his head had now been fixed. He felt a sudden sense of happiness, something he hadn't felt in a while and it confused him greatly but all he knew was that he was completely grateful for it.

And then he remember what Gabriel had said about Raphael unaware of the monsters inside him and the fact that Castiel was trapped in Purgatory. And as quickly as the happiness had come over him, it soon left again.

Sam groaned at the sudden empty feeling and the thought of having a long few days ahead of them, they had to fix what ever mess they had gotten themselves into again... The brilliant life as a Winchester he thought...

**To be Continued...**


End file.
